I WON I WON I WON>>>>>

I won the biggest loser contest at work...I love that I had control of it...for the most part...I at least has control over myself.  I won $280!!!  I have lost a total of 15 lbs.  the final weight in was yesterday morning...and as of this morning we'll make that 16 :)  It's a great day!

My job OMG my Job!  I just wish I had some control there, like I wish I could get up, tell them all to f' off and walk out the f'ing door...I'm dealilng w/ things well hear at work...Don't get me wrong, I work in a very stressful job, and I can handle that. but what I can't handle is when things get personal.  And believe me, this has got to be personal...I have two different supervisors telling me different things, it's all about me and what I'm not doing to get the promotion from one and from the other that they saying why i'm not getting it.  I don't get it, i'm pissed off and I can't take much more!

Thanks for listening!

todays INTAKE:

B-strawberries   L- watermellon (both negative cal)

Dinner: Speical K ceral bar 90 cal. when ever I might get home tonight.

I promise that one of these days I will have the time to write to you all!  I'm sorry!  I haven't forgotten you!

HUGS stay strong!

EDIT!  Sorry everyone who might read this...I was just reading my post over and there are many errors...sorry sorry sorry sorry

Hello Ladies!   (way to much to drink tonight)

Thank you so much for stopping by even though i've been neglecting in my posting.!  Please know I love you all and i've wanted to post but i've been so busy and so totally exhausted!!!!

Here is the final news for the next two weeks anyways...on the job that is:

Ok, so one of the supervisors yesterday came over to my desk and told me that i wouldn't be getting the job, but that she was able to convince them that she can prove that i'm ready for the job...(most people would say AWesome!)  i should be happy, excited so on and so forth, but I have bene here for two years and they have never done this for anyone else.  So for the next two weeks i'm going to be under the watchful eye of 4 supervisors and two directors and they are going to move my seat next to one of the worst supervisors (OMG) and of course i agreed to it b/c I am so friggen week.  I am week in everything that I do!  Why can't I just be confident in what I believe in.  I know that I am good enough for this job. I know I am the only one good enough for this job, yet I just say..............ok............. do what ever you want..I'll follow you and do as you please. I week when it comes to anyone above me.  If Only I could stand up to them and tell them I am the one for that position.  Instead over the next two weeks I am going to have to do more work then any of them have ever done in a matter of two weeks time...inorder to prove to them that I am the best person...It just seems fishy to me and to be honest i'm not even sure I want to go through it!  The last week has been a living hell and to think that I have two more weeks to deal with the pressure of having to be perfect when I know I can't me. Don't get me wrong...I want to be...but I always fail...actually failing is the only thing I am actually good at these days....except for the weight loss...I am doing it...and I"m doing it GOOD!  I have lost 15 lbs. and it is getting easier and easier! 

INTAKE TODAY! :)

watermellon around lunch time: negative calories...and I think they work for me

Dinner: hmmmm nothing

nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing

I FEEL so empty...free...alive!  I feel in control...there are no temtations!  I will succeend, I will win and I will stay free!!!!!!!!!!!  Emptiness is good!

Sorry for the long post...I did have a few drinks tonight, we went to a birthday party tonight and everyone was doing shots (lemon drops) and I coudn't resist.  I feel so young when i'm drinking!  I feel like I never grew up. I hate being older then everyone!  I hate it all most of the time...anyways I love that I can now control what I am eating...just like old time...when I was young and free.

I will go out an post to everyone!!!! tomorrow...i'm going ot head to bed now...sorry for the long post!

HUGS

to you all!

Luvon

I'm so sorry everyone that I have not been able to post...Please know I am thinking of you and I hope to have some extra time this week.  My job has me extremely stressed out.

UPDATE: I did not get the job. But they are not going to fill it w/ anyone and one of the supervisors is going to take me under her wing to train me so I can get it in the near future.  I really think it's all a bunch of crap b/c they don't want me to stop doing what I am doing...or give up...I really hate my job!

I had my second interview yesterday and to be honest I don't think i'm going to get the job...but they are making the 2 of us that applied wait 2 weeks possibly longer which tells me they are waiting to see who else might apply.

INTAKE YESTERDAY!

WAY TO MUCH...But i'm ok w/ it b/c it certainly made me feel better.  I didn't eat all day so my hubby and I could go out for chinese food.  I didn't eat horribly...but I ate...and I'll just leave it at that.

From Now until next Tuesday I am not going to allow any food into my month unless it is from the negative food calorie list.  I have to weigh in for our "Biggest Loser" contest on Tueday...I better win!!! :)  Eather way I look at it I have now lost 14 lbs... YEAH!  I'm so excited...

I promise over the weekend I will go out and read and post to everyone!!!

My Webentry didn't work yesterday?  I could not post :(

Yesterdays food intake...

Breakfast: 115

Lunch: 1 grapefruit...if the negative cal. is for real then 0 Cal.

Dinner: 200

went to the gym and burned 200 cal. and I went tanning :) I love to tan...it is so peacful to feel warm and alone with my eyes closed...my own personal time to day dream.  Not that anyone will see more of me then my face and arms...but I do enjoy it for myself.  Looking forward to go again tonight!  It also breaks up my stay at the gym...GOD I HATE GOING TO TE GYM!!!

I will try to go out and post tonight!

HUGS to you all!

Luvon

Wow, what a day...I'm exhausted!

I went into work this morning at 7:30 and worked until 8pm.  I'm beat.  The last 3 1/2 hours was spent walking the floor helping new reps.  Good News...at least I was walking the floor burning calories.  Bad news...I have to get up and do it again tomorrow...but only till 6pm tomorrow. 

Food Intake today:

B- 190 sandwhich

L- 1/2 bag popcorn 15

D- nothing

snacks inbetween 1 apple 6 strawberries...i'm not counting them b/c of the whole negative calorie therory...hope it really works :)

This the that last week for this month at work doing the biggest looser...I know that I have a lot of them beat, but don't know if I have them all beat.  I need to win...it's $280 in my pocket...I'm going to eat as little as possible this week in hopes I can lose another 5 lbs. I'm also going to the gym tomorrow night and to the water areobics on Wed. and then the gym again thursday and friday.  I need to win this money. 2 reason. 1. I have to prove to myself that I am good at this...and it would be my reward...2. we are going on vacatoin in July and I need every penny I can scrape together or I won't be able to go...and we are going to see my mom in Florida...I haven't seen her in almost 3 years!

I heard through one of my supervisors today that I am going to get a second interview...I was thinking...hmmm..I friggen better, i've gotten one that last two times i applied...but I just told her "COOL"  I need this job...$10,000 a year raise!  ok, i've rambled on enough...I won't beable to go out and post tonight...I gotta get some sleep!

HUGS to all and stay strong!  Your strenths empower me!

Luvon